I spent this weekend at my dad’s, and spent Sunday making footers for the stairs/deck for my new apartment! I’m moving in a month.

Being at my dad’s I wasn’t able to do the ritual things I’d normally do, but She was closer to my mind than usual. I truly enjoyed the trip…but those 80 lb bags of concrete are heavy! lol

Hey, everyone. I apologize for my long, long, long hiatus. With graduating, working, and preparing to move back to Texas this summer, I’ve been both extremely busy and extremely lazy.

The first step towards my new chapter of life is to find some kind of employment. I am planning on moving to Austin, and so I’ve been looking for jobs there. I recently found a position that sounds absolutely perfect, and best of all, sounds like something I am absolutely qualified for.

Today, I got my first phone interview with the company. After several days of preparation before hand, I thought I was ready. However, I was still nervous, and so I asked Brighid and Ogma to lend me eloquence, strength and confidence. The interview went great–despite my being asked questions that I was not prepared for! I felt strong, and stood straight, as Brighid held me up today, and felt Ogma’s honey-tongue in my mouth answering questions, and gaining really positive and encouraging feedback from the interviewers.

Even if I am not called back for a second interview, or even if I am but don’t end up getting the job, I know that I did a great job with the interview and that Brighid will always be there for me, if I just ask her to be.

What have you asked for, and gained? How did you show your gratitude? For that matter, how should I show my gratitude to Ogma and Brighid, besides the small offering of milk I gave them this morning? Any ideas?

Today my Dad and friend and I went to a local amusement park. It rained in the morning but then cleared up- we didn’t have much time there, but it was a good day. I’m glad to spend the time with them- I’m moving back home to Downingtown in October.

I’ve been doing a lot of self-exploration lately. I’m also feeling the tug to get back into my spiritual work. It took a big drop off after my break with the College, but it’s definitely missing from my life.

Things are a bit topsy-turvy right now. I’m hoping to have a new “normal” before too long.

I was at my dad’s again this weekend, we had a great time! (I did remember to bring my sun/flower necklace to wear on Sunday this time.) On Friday we saw Transformers II and fireworks, Saturday I had some time to hang out with my cousin and aunt who I don’t see very often.

Right now I’m really focused on ‘home’ right now- with a little luck (ie: if the psychiatrist doesn’t drop a bombshell next Wednesday) I’ll be moving back to Downingtown- back ‘home’- in a few months. Woo hoo!

Inspired by this post by Dianne Sylvan (whom I absolutely adore), here is my list of things that I can do- many of them quite well. (I encourage you to check out Dianne’s original post so that you know why I’m doing this.)

I draw and paint well enough to drop peoples’ jaws.

I take amazing photographs.

I write beautiful poetry.

I write and perform meaningful rituals.

I read both Runes and Tarot.

I create beautiful flowers out of copper.

I make beautiful jewelery.

I don’t know how fast I type, but it’s fast enough to make people drop their jaws and ask “how do you do that?”

I can find my way to do pretty much anything I want to do on a computer.

I manipulate photographs and create banners/logos etc. in freeware programs better than a lot of people do with PhotoShop.

I can dislocate most of the joints in my body.

I’m a good swimmer.

I keep going no matter how rough things get.

I move energy like nobody’s business.

I dance.

I make people smile.

If I really want something, I find a way to make it happen.

I’m not afraid to take a risk, like jumping on a train and taking a 2000 mile trek to Minnesota to chase a dream.

Now GO, all of you, and create your own list.

Well, I’ve been missing my creativity for a long while now- but thanks to a new digital camera (a splurge, but I don’t regret it one bit!) I’m making a huge comeback. I took over 70 pictures on Thursday.

Wandering through the woods taking pictures is really cathartic, and I got some GREAT shots. I’m so proud of myself- and so happy with some of  them that I just printed a couple out today to hang in my room.

Today I spent an hour or so driving aimlessly, I also took a couple more pictures- I only kept a few of them, but I got one of a snake and a few of a bat that was (for some  reason) out in the daytime. I’m surprised how well the pictures of the bat came out, since it was flying.

I’ve been doing a bit of thinking lately, about life, and about appreciating what you have. I’ve for a long time wanted to move out on my own, but I realized that I’m so desperate to get out of here (instead of enjoying the freedom I have because I am financially secure) because I’m basing my self worth on my living situation- which is extraordinarily silly when I see it written out like that. If I could be financially secure and living decently on my own I would be- but I’m making very little and in this economy, I can’t even realistically count on that- so I’m still living with my mom and hoping that things will fall into place soon for me to move out. But really, she’s not a bad person at all to live with- and I have no reason to be unhappy  other than I seem to think that, for some reason, being here as opposed to in my own place makes me somehow less worthy as a person. Which is utter BS, of course- if I’m really ‘not worthy as a person’ a change of environment isn’t really going to change that, and if I’m that depressed over it, there’s a much bigger problem that moving out won’t fix.

I also realized just how much I’d miss my pretty blue bedroom if I moved. LOL

I’ve been running so much for the past few weeks that today I decided just to sort of hang back and relax. I actually wound up being more active than I wanted to be, but that’s OK. I thought it was time for a break though- having a life is great, but it’s easy to burn yourself out when you don’t slow down.

I’m so happy to have my creative urges back that I could…create something! LOL

Of course I remembered to wear that sun/rose pendant that I keep on Brighid’s altar specifically for my shifts.

Lately I have been feeling the urge to write more.  I joined a roleplay, and I have been blogging on my wordpress account, including writing a short story, and have figured out a short story written largely with pictures that tells a simple tale that talks about how to face a disease, and is more for children, although adults should get something out of it.  I even found a writer’s blog on wordpress that helps you know things to help get published!

I figure Brighid is calling

Gina

I am going to be a grandmother! I found out Monday.  My daughter is due November 12.  We are praying for a healthy baby, especially with the fact that our beautiful little accident was conceived the natural way, as opposed to the scientific way via in vitro that my daughter was going to be doing, in order to have a healthy baby, since we have a mitochondrial defect called Narp.     

Gina

I almost missed this shift because I forgot there are only 28 days in  February, lol.

I have too many blogs. Two of them (Earth and Fire and Love, Hope and Life) were started and maintained for a while with good intentions, but I lacked inspiration and they fell by the wayside. I hadn’t updated them in forever and thought, well they’re just sitting there, it’s far easier (and better IMO) to have everything  in the same place. So I spent today moving all of the posts from Earth and Fire and Love, Hope and Life into Tranquil Mayhem.

I also trashed Decaf Diary as it was a chore to me and not very interesting to anyone else, judging by my stats.

I spent this afternoon making two new skins for my forum as well.

So that was today- cleaning up my online ‘homes away from home’. I really feel like I’ve accomplished something that I’ve wanted/needed to do for a while.

On Wednesday I call the counseling center, and make an appointment. I’m so nervous about that. I know it’ll be OK, but still, I’m nervous. Brighid grant me peace.

I was keeping Her flame this weekend, an on Sunday night I got an email from Gayars, out of the blue. One thing led to another, and here she is!!! So our little group here has a new member, yay!

Last night was the Gwyddon celebration of Brighid’s Fire. Brighid had one more surprise in store for me, and I was asked to speak Her part in the ritual! I was surprised, to say the least. *grins* It was an interesting night.

I have high hopes for this year. In a few short weeks I’ll be 21, and in a few short weeks will be one year after I got my diagnosis of GAD. I’ll be raising a glass to the fact that I’m still here, I have my health, and I have learned much. And I am eternally greatful that my best friend is still here with me, despite all that’s happened.

I’ll be raising a glass to Brighid, who held out her hand to me through the worst.