Well, I’ve been missing my creativity for a long while now- but thanks to a new digital camera (a splurge, but I don’t regret it one bit!) I’m making a huge comeback. I took over 70 pictures on Thursday.
Wandering through the woods taking pictures is really cathartic, and I got some GREAT shots. I’m so proud of myself- and so happy with some of them that I just printed a couple out today to hang in my room.
Today I spent an hour or so driving aimlessly, I also took a couple more pictures- I only kept a few of them, but I got one of a snake and a few of a bat that was (for some reason) out in the daytime. I’m surprised how well the pictures of the bat came out, since it was flying.
I’ve been doing a bit of thinking lately, about life, and about appreciating what you have. I’ve for a long time wanted to move out on my own, but I realized that I’m so desperate to get out of here (instead of enjoying the freedom I have because I am financially secure) because I’m basing my self worth on my living situation- which is extraordinarily silly when I see it written out like that. If I could be financially secure and living decently on my own I would be- but I’m making very little and in this economy, I can’t even realistically count on that- so I’m still living with my mom and hoping that things will fall into place soon for me to move out. But really, she’s not a bad person at all to live with- and I have no reason to be unhappy other than I seem to think that, for some reason, being here as opposed to in my own place makes me somehow less worthy as a person. Which is utter BS, of course- if I’m really ‘not worthy as a person’ a change of environment isn’t really going to change that, and if I’m that depressed over it, there’s a much bigger problem that moving out won’t fix.
I also realized just how much I’d miss my pretty blue bedroom if I moved. LOL
I’ve been running so much for the past few weeks that today I decided just to sort of hang back and relax. I actually wound up being more active than I wanted to be, but that’s OK. I thought it was time for a break though- having a life is great, but it’s easy to burn yourself out when you don’t slow down.
I’m so happy to have my creative urges back that I could…create something! LOL
Of course I remembered to wear that sun/rose pendant that I keep on Brighid’s altar specifically for my shifts.
